Monday, May 08, 2006
It's a little funny when you forget your own birthday... and so does most people around you...
I woke up at 6:30... got dressed and went for lung scoopings.... too early for any interaction with the family... (one of the few bonuses of this job)... and it wasn't until much later in the day... somebody completely unexpected rang me up to wish me Happy Birthday... and then it hit me... yup.. things had gotten pretty bad.... it's not like I totally forgot... I knew it was in the region.. just didn't know it was that day....
And then we had the whole charade of cutting the choc-chip cake(which we have every two weeks anyway... but today it's suddenly special) and mumbling lyrics to the song and pretending to be excited about receiving pants and thanking my dad for a greasy meal at the same chinese restaurant we eat at every month anyway (SURPRIIIIIIISE you thought we were going to eat at home!) ... they say that the thought counts... but I think the thoughts pretty much gone out of it too... it's more like "can we get this done so that we can go back to what we were doing"
And frankly who can blame them... birthdays are bloody stupid anyway... it's probably the most meaningless cause for celebration possible... yay! you lived another year! we're so proud of you.....
And don't mistake me for one of those birthday blues I am getting older type cliches... I am not... I actually look forward to getting older.. I'd be perfectly happy with being 32 right now... that way my appearance would actually reflect my age more closely.... so it's not that...
But it's just a little weird actually... a little window into the future maybe... happened for a couple of years now... the whole birthday thing... more of a drudgery than anything... they used to be fun... your friends used to know.... and they would celebrate with you... but you're not with your friends anymore.... you make new friends... and don't really tell your new friends when your birthday is do you? why would you? Even if you did... they don't remember... And the only people who DO know... and DO remember... are the people you want to have absolutely nothing to do with... who buy you cheap pants and greasy chinese food... neither of which you would ever buy for yourself....
But you know something... I am a little glad they remembered and they were around.... in a couple of years they probably won't be... and then I would have just woken up and gone to scoop out lungs and come back and wokred out and written reports and watched scrubs... and then think to myself a week or two later... shit... Happy Belated Birthday to me....
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9:29 AM
