Saturday, April 15, 2006
more on the apple festival later...
first.. must share two more conquests of indian call centre operators...
so here goes:
CC: Hello Miss Webster.
Me: Do I sound like a Miss to you?
CC: Sorry Mr. Webster.
Me: And if I am male I have to be Mr. Webster?
CC: Err... sir your phone has been pre-selected for a faaaaantastic offer.
Me: great!
CC: Sir may I know how much you spend on your phone bill?
Me: Why? You tell me what you got to offer... why must I tell you what I got?
CC: Ok sir. I am guessing you are maybe paying around $90 and just $35-$50 on line rental. We are offering only$25 on call rental and 40 free local calls. How does that sound?
Me: Not impressive. I pay $29 and get 60 local calls free.
CC: but sir you only pay $25 with us..
Me: But I get more free calls with mine...
CC: But sir... ours is cheaper...
Me: *No it's not you idiot... but I'd rather not explain* .. look... my phone is tied up with my cell phone and internet... a bundle offer..
CC: Sir we also have a great internet offer... You only pay 9.95 for the first three months for unlimited download at 256kbps.
Me: And what after three months?
CC: You pay 39.95.
Me: Aha! That's the catch isn't it? I only pay 29.95 for my internet....same terms...
CC: But sir... for the first three months you get it for 9.95...
Me: What good is that? I pay $20 for 3 months and then $10 more for the rest of my life!
CC: Sir we also have great cell phone rates. You can get $60 worth of calls for a fixed price of $20...
Me: So what? I get $120 of call for $29 and a free phone...
CC: But sir... our's is only $20...
Me: What are talking about? Why should I switch? I get more call time with this! If I switch I will have to cut down my calls by half to save 9 miserable dollars...
CC: Sir. what are their call rates. Ours is 32c for 30 seconds
Me: Mine is 25c.
CC: So sir... would you be interested in signing up with us?
Me: *Now I'm pissed! Is this guy retarded or something?* No way! Why should I? Why quit a good deal for a worse one?
CC: But ours is cheaper sir. You save money.
Me: Ok... can you do maths? If I switch over... I will pay $20 base PLUS about $35 extra for $120 worth of calls... so $55.. where I am paying $29.... So I lose $25 a month... I change my internet over... I save $20 for threee months.. so $60.. but I pay $10 extra everytime after.. so in a year.. I would have lost $90...so for the first year I lose $30... next year I lose $120!! I save $4.00 on line rental but get 20 fewer calls... so those extra 20 calls will cost me about $5.50! so I lose $1.50... I lose everyway!! What kind of a crazy person would I be to sign up with you!!!
Me: But sir our's is a good deal sir...
CC: No it's not! I am very happy where I am.. I'm not changing...
Me: Sir can you tell me whic provider you are with?
CC: What? You do your own market research. You want me to tell you you have to pay me consusltancy fees... bye!
Jackass...
Ok.. the second one was just too good... I was ina special mood that day!
CC: Hello sir! I have a fantastic offer for you.
Me: Wow!
CC: Sir... we are giving you a chance to go to your choice of luxury hotels over the next year for a heavily discounted price... Sir... what kind of places do you normally go for on vacations..
Me: Mostly nudist camps...
CC: Where do you normally take your vacations?
Me: To the south west... there are some naturist resorts there...
CC: Sir.. do you go to Melbourne or Brisbane...
Me: Not really... unless they have a nudist convention or something... I don't like aeroplanes much... they don't really appreciate nudism on flights.
CC: Sir.. you live in Perth? You can have a lovely holiday in Joondalup resort for only $89.95 a night for two people... How does that sound?
Me: Great! Is that a nudist establishment?
CC: Sorry what sir?
Me: Do they allow nudists? (no answer) Do they allow people who belive in naturism? (no answer).. Will they be ok with me walking about naked?
CC: Err... sir.. I am sure they will not mind about what you do in your room.
Me: In my room! Ofcourse i will be naked in my room. I am naked right now... but I want be naked everywhere... with other naked people. Does your hotel allow that?
CC: No sir. I don't think so.
Me: Then what's the point? I only go to places where naturism is embraced.
CC: Well sir... for a change.. why don't you try this?
Me: What do you mean for a change? How would you like it if I called you up and asked you to go to a nadist resort "for a change"? Would you?
CC: But sir... this is a good offer..
Me: no no.. answer me.. would you? You want me to embrace textiles but would you embrace nudism for a change? Go ahead.
CC: No sir. I guess not... sorry to bother you sir.
Yessss! got her to hang up before me! Full Points!
> 4 comments
4:09 AM
