Saturday, March 25, 2006
So I was in the city yesterday.... had bought a 2 hour parking ticket... and the job was suddenly done in 15 minutes.... had and hour and 45 minutes to kill...
So I thought it might be a good idea spending the time joining a new religion...
The closest one I could find was Scientology... a rather incongruos looking building which had this huge banner on it saying "Church of scientology" and these glorious rainbows and waterfalls and clouds in the background... neat...
So scientology has been in the news of late, which is what piqued my interest.. basically "south park" made an episode where they bagged scientologists (like they bag everything under the same... had to happen)... but the guy who played "Chef", a senior black actor and scientologist, got pretty offended and quit the show... and the network.. ofcourse south park is unapologetic, now other people are involved, threats are being made... good fun..
I had never taken scientolgoy very seriously... didn't know anythign abt it... had a crazy uncle who used to believe in dianetics (which has something to do with scientology), which I figured to be some kind of supernatural massage. But he swore by it, constantly used it on himself getting better and better each day... until had to get his hip replaced...
Anyway... now I wanted to know...
So the sign said "Free Stress Test".. and a cute girl was sitting there smiling at me... like a very wise man once told me "If a pretty girl is selling something for free... always buy it"... so I went for it..
She made me put my hands on this device, which looked like a bathroom scale for my hands, and then took some measurements on this thing with dials... apparently this is an "e-meter"... so they ask me questions.. and when the needle jumps.... that means I am stressed about that thing
So I found ou that I was deeply stressed about my dad...the fact that I am not speaking to him... my elder son and his studies... i suspect my spouse of being unfaithful... my colleague who is trying to steal my job... a person at work I have a crush on... and I have a secret that's holding me back
Hmm... interesting...
Then they ask me how I release stress... I say I punch things and drink... they don't believe it's productive.. so they want me to try out dianetics.... it's apparently going to change my life... it's about truth... that's their philosophy... truth... pretty nice philosophy eh?
They believe that everyone's right... if you believe in something it's the truth...
I'm loving this releigion already!
Apparently "they" are ruling the planet... other people don't realise that....
I was hooked... I would have siigned anything they gave me at that point...
but then they broke it...
"Do you want to come upstairs and see the DVD on dianetics? It will answer all your questions and change your life"
Uh-oh. Joining a new religion was one thing... but watching a boring DVD is something else...
"No... I don't think I want to."
"I really beleive you should. It would help you out a lot" *dazzling smile*
"Err... I have epileptic tendencies... flashing lights can set it off... does the DVD have flashing lights?"
"Err.. I'm not sure."
But now i actually WANTED to see the DVD... it could be thrilling stuff...
"Actually... can you burn me a copy... I will watch it at home... so if I get a fit my cheating wife can save my life"
"errrr...no"
DAMN!
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8:11 AM
