Tuesday, March 21, 2006
I hate business studies... why am I studying this crap anyway... oh right.. because I HAVE to.. otherwise they'll flunk me..
Seriously I have no use for this... if I ever find the cure for AIDS and want to start a business selling it... I will hire some Arthur Andersen yuppie... the same way if an Arthur Andersen yuppie gets AIDS, he will hire me.... I simply so point to this study...
And the whole business managemnt thing seems like a different language all of a sudden... a different state of mind....like learning algebra all over again... I really am too old for paradigm shifts...
It's weird hwo science people think in a way that is completely to most other people, especially business. If we need to know something, we do a literature search, find it, reference it. If we have an idea we find out what other people have done along similar lines, then we come up with our own little experiment based on the collected wisdom, and reach conclusions. Simple, clean, pure. But in business studies... it's all messed upIf you want information, you can't look it up. Because nobody will tell you. But you then have to go find out completely bizarre bits of information like the population of the city aged 15-35, units of electricity consumed by the southern suburbs, the cost price of an apple and so on.. and then you piece them together slowly and painfully to reach your conclusion....
And there's no scope for experiments.
And what's the deal with using fancy words like "model" and "formulation" and "segregation" and "enumerate".. it's like they want to be scientists.... and what's with coming up with bizarre names and formulae for stuff which really is common knowledge... like the SWOT analysis... Duh!! What kind of a moron would go into a business without thinking about what his strengths
and weaknesses... That's the whole IDEA behind starting a business... you realise you have something to offer... so yo put it out there... why do you need bizarre terms like SWOT and PET and PPP to describe something an 8 yr old selling off his father's stationery could tell you...
It's just a way for these people to feel important I guess...
Reminds me of this flashy guy in a Mercedes convertible in a suit who was once driving the New Zealand countryside, when he came up on this sheep farmer grazing his herd. So he stops and tells the farmer "If I tell you exactly ow many sheep you have, will you give me one for free take home with me?"
The farmer reluctantly agrees.
So the flashy kid, pulls out a laptop and he hooks it up to the internet with a portable satellite dish. He types away furiously, flying through search engines, and reams of numbers and NASA's satellite imagery. He then picks up his cell phone, makes a dozen calls and furiously takes notes. Then he opens up his calculator and punches numbers. Finally he prints out a 15 page report with an executive summary from the bubble jet printer in his boot and gives a 10 minute presentation on a portable projector. In conclusion he declares that the farmer has exactly 872 sheep.
The farmer unwillingly agrees that the man is right.
But when the man is abt to drive off with his prize, the farmer stops him asking for a chance to win back his sheep if he correctly guesses the man's profession. The man agrees.
"I bet you are an Arthur Andersen business consultant" the farmer says.
The man is shocked. He wants to know how the farmer could have made a perfect guess like that.
So the farmer says, "simple. Firstly, you came here uninvited. Secondly, you wasted time and money to tell me something I already knew. Thirdly, that's my dog you hae in the back of your car, not a sheep."
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8:24 AM
