Wednesday, February 15, 2006
So I bought myself a copy of yesterday's Herald Sun. There's a great money saving tip... always buy your newspaper one day later... cost a fraction. And face it... you really just want to read the comics and sports and movie news sections anyway... what difference does reading it a day later make?
Anyway.... I was flipping through the Valentine's Day messages. And boy... some of them are just priceless...
Not your usual "roses are red/violets are blue/ I rooted your sister/ now I'll root you" or "You are my love/My little white dove"... these are something else...
So here is a fair bouquet I selected for you guys. Accompanied by a few words from myself. Every single on'es genuine. You can look it up...
A+ - To the Special One. Love you
Bud. In a category all of your
own. More important than
friends and acquaintances.
Grin. The only one who can
order me around. And yes you, I
did touch you at the tennis.
Smiles _ James.
There is something decidedly disturbing about this... can't put my finger on it.
A. _ My darling beautiful baby
girl, always number one. I love
you. Be my Valentine. _ B.
I am not sure comparing your valentine to number one is a good idea
AAAAAAAAAA TO THE ONE
SECURITY GUARD
I saw last year, I cant forget the
way you looked at me and I
looked at you. I hope the day will
come when we can finally meet.
_ From an Admirer.
This is so specific.... Outside the Alice Springs Heritage Agriculture Museum, the security guard 72 yr old Mr. Dave Smith was sitting quietly keeping his watchful eye on the museum's contents, making sure nobody touched anything, when he suddenly reads this. We can't be sure whether he died of an heart attack, ingesting his coffee too quickly or from misfiring his 303 rifle into his buttocks.
ADAM HILL
I love you so much, I wish I could
find the words to describe how
happy you make me feel. Thank
you for giving me butterflies.
Love _ Caz xx
A girl gave me butterflies once.... mostly it was her cooking.
AF
HOWAPPY Balentine Day! I nub
u more dan wordth can say
(eben when youre nawty). Lots
and lots of Lub always and
foweba, your Cowatt (+ lewsh)
Hmm... you know.... you really shouldn't profess your love for somebody on paper when you're that drunk. If there's one thing we have learned from Ms. Spears is that..
AGENT-RUSSELL
My poem too rude, my big guns
too crude! I wanted to play some
games in the nude! Despite my
best efforts, through anguish
and pain, I hope this last
message gets past that
Lorraine! Luv ya Dork! Bean.
HAHAHA... this one rocks... "my big guns".. he has more than one...
ALAN WHITE
A girl can get very hungry
waiting for that dinner
invitation to materialise!
_ Kate (from the MCG)
Ahhh... the cornerstone of every succesful relationship... desperation... and trying to date strangers you meet at a cricket match.
ALAN/EDDIE
Of Sunbury. Longtime love.
Need mobile number again.
What's with the two names? Alan/Eddie... can't be the same guy... either she is casting a wide net or she has forgotten the name of her love...
ALLEGRA
Ive lost my number,
can I have yours?
Love _ Jazzman X
I have lost MY number???? Come again... how does someone lose their own number?
ANTZ PANTZ
U had me @ "Bout 3 min.
Still nuff time 4 u 2 bolt ":)
Love u muchly xxxxooo
_ Inga und da chickens
There are so many levels to this one... "had me at 3 min"= I am easy.... "still nuf time for u to bolt"=he dumped her OR he dumped somethign else too quickly... "Inga und da chickens"= there is more than one person sending this... it's a whole group... like a team or something
CATHY
Would you prefer football,
movies or a picnic? _ Nigel
Ooooh Boy! Dude. Football? On Valentine's Day.... you reaaaaally know women don't you?
BOETA ``MOMO'''' PATAGONIA
The story of Bunson Bunny
falling in love is about the
pursuit of backwardsies in
Momoland; amid the dangerous
bung bungs and jabbies. With
support from boom boom and
morning kissies, this small
Bunson will prevail.
Love you always _ Momo
I had to save this one for last.... it's just fantastic.... "in pursuit of backwardsies"..."bung bungs and jabbies".... I think I'll frame this one...
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1:29 AM
